Pictured is a portrait of the magizoologist Contessa Jölle (1723-1792), the first ambassador to English merfolk and discoverer of multitudes of magical aquatic plants, shortly after a very famous, very tragic mishap. Ever the experimental charmsweaver—indeed, she is credited with the creation of the Bubble Head Charm at 14, several years later she would become afflicted with what the portrait above shows.
Contessa’s diaries show that she adored the North Sea, and spent months at a time at the Jölle house on the coast of northern Germany. Famously intolerant of most people, she preferred the company of her aquariums and the sound of the waves to ballroom gowns and pureblood soirees. She would spend long hours swimming in the sea after casting a charm she made herself to keep warm, and records mention she could hold her breath up to 6 minutes.
One summer afternoon in 1743, Jölle wrote that while vacationing by the shores of India she had completed her magnum opus—a spell to imitate the effects of gillyweed, inspired by the frustration of having to give up the sea mere hours. As her diary says, she eagerly cast the spell as she waded into the waters only to have colorful tentacles sprout where her hair once was. After the initial shock, she found this development to be quite delightful, and sported her bright, squirming appendages until her death. Of course, this caused quite the scandal for the noble house Jölle, and limited the amount of time that she could spend in public—but that was for the best for modern wizarding society, for without the subsequent gills that would open underwater, it would be a long time before Mermish culture would be documented, along with many aquatic plants and creatures that require extended stays underwater to observe well.
Contessa Jölle died alone in her small cottage on the coast of the island of Majorca. Her will—which donated the entirety of her findings and scientific materials to the furthering of magizoology—asked only that her body be sent to sea to be in care of the local Mermish clan that she considered more of her family than her actual blood. She was awarded posthumously the Order of Merlin, Second Class for her work, and a magical aquarium in Spain is dedicated in her name.
Mr. W. Muir, 22nd of September, 2014.
they need to invent a word thats like love but three hundred times more intense so i can vaguely describe what i feel for beyonce until then im gonna lie down and cry
Frankie and Patrick O’Malley are lucky to have each other. Brothers, roommates, and band mates in Chicago rock ‘n’ roll band, The Safes—nothing comes between them and their music.
Well, except arguments. And when you’re working with your family, they’re bound to happen.
“You can be more viciously mean to the other,” said Frankie.
“When you fight, yeah, it can be brutal, but you get over it fast,” said Patrick.
But even their views on their disagreements differ.
“Sometimes you get over it fast,” said Frankie. “Sometimes it takes a while. Sometimes it’s so, and I don’t mean to complain about it, I just want to be honest about it, we get into fights that interfere with…”
“…progress,” Patrick finished.
“Progress at times,” Frankie added. “And interfere with, you know, I had a bad show in Indianapolis once because we basically got in a fist fight before we played.”
“Yeah,” Patrick chuckled. “It was all nonsense. We were fighting on stage.”
It’s easy for them to talk about fighting with each other, but it’s easier to admire each other’s talents.
“Every success we have really goes back to Patrick,” said Frankie.
“I just do research,” Patrick responded. “I’ve been doing the business for a long time.”
“And doing a hell of a job,” Frankie complimented.
BRINGING THIS BACK
The Safes are a boisterous bunch of Chicago punk rockers. The band delivers a stream of power pop rock crammed with catchy hooks. Their new album Record Heat is no different. It may be their tightest, most gripping to date!
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